Sunday, October 27, 2013

Relishing in Redemption

Redemption is the act of being saved from evil.

Last year I journeyed through great evil. The enemy intended to harm me, but God intended to use my pain for His good. Satan holds the power of death. What a grip he has. I believe it's a fine line of desiring and praying for God's plan, life here on earth, verses acting on fear to sustain life on earth. Everybody wants to go to Heaven but nobody wants to die.

I am 27 weeks along with my son. That sentence alone shoots a mile long smile, gleaming across my face. He is healthy and will be born in January. Some might wonder how I am coping with another pregnancy. Well, I am not coping at all, I am joyful in grace. I understand the gravity of seeing a specialist each month, yet I am not paralyzed by the possibility of a repeated story. I am 9 weeks ahead of Gracia's gestational age. Which allows me to have a reminder of Gracia's pregnancy, but also enough distance to help me remember that my son's life is uniquely different.

With the holidays coming up, I was remembering what we did last year and thinking about how this year will be different. I remember just before Keilah's 3rd Birthday, October 14, 2012, I announced my pregnancy with Gracia.  At Thanksgiving last year, I remember uncomfortably talking about Gracia's future as if her impending death wasn't real.  I remember missing my husband's Christmas party because we had just buried our daughter, 3 days before.

This year the same events and milestones will come. Keilah's Birthday has been wildly celebrated. Thanksgiving and Christmas will once again return. Only this time, a year later, we get to freely enjoy them.

I am at the place in life where I can eagerly recount the Lords steadfast love. He has brought me out of mire and placed my feet on solid ground.  What a mighty work He has done in a years time. I am relishing in His great redemption for me.

Sometimes God redeems us from our pain and sometimes God redeems us through our pain.