How He loves

I've taken on a new hobby. I am fascinated with birds.  I didn't wake up one day thinking this would be my next venture, but God did. A few weeks ago I had my sister, Meredith, over. I planned to share Gracia's pictures with her and recount that time of her death.  As I was cleaning up breakfast that morning I glanced out on my deck and saw a large bird sitting on my grill.  It turned to look at me, we stared at each other for a few seconds. I even waved at the bird. I knew it was from God. When I had time to google birds of Missouri, I discovered that the bird I saw was a mourning dove. God gifted me with a mourning dove the day I was to gush about Gracia. He loves me.

Meredith was a great support to me when Gracia was diagnosed.  She accompanied me to my final doctor appointment, when we received confirmation that Gracia's heart had stopped.  She took time off work to care for Keilah while I was in the hospital. She picked up Gracia's flowers for her casket. She hosted Gracia's open house.  Without Meredith stepping in, I'm not sure how those dreadful days in December would have played out. I am forever grateful for her.  I don't know how you thank someone who did so much for you in the worse time of your life.  I so badly wanted to commemorate the bond that God gave us. Months ago I looked up anchor bracelets. I found one that I really liked but didn't pull the trigger. Before Meredith and I headed downstairs to look at Gracia's pictures, she said that she had something for me and she handed me the exact bracelet that I was looking to purchase.  My jaw dropped.  God is in the details. He cares deeply.

Job 33:14 For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it.

God, I am listening. Speak, I will be quiet.

 

I am now living in Isaiah 63:7 I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel that he has granted them according to his compassion, according to the abundance of his steadfast love. God says we will walk through fire and not be burned. He did just that for me. I may be charred but I didn't burn up in my pain. I'm on the other side. I made it through because of Him. The Lord was good to me. He has revealed secrets to me that are mine to keep (Deut. 29:29).



 

My niece, Selah Crosby, was named after Fanny Crosby. Fanny is well known for being a master lyricist, poet and composer. She became blind at 6 weeks old.  In her biography she is quoted to say "had it not been for her affliction she might not have so good an education or have so great an influence, and certainly not so fine a memory." She also said "when I get to heaven, the first face that shall ever gladden my sight will be that of my Savior". My affliction was my miscarriage last April and burying my daughter, Gracia, December 13th. But I thank God for my afflictions. The refinement that has blossomed is nothing I could have gained by bearing a healthy baby. I have been tried in the furnace of affliction and I have come out refined.  All glory, honor and praise be to God.

 

But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works. Psalm 73:28